the shadow is everywhere.

i would carry it with me whenever im out.

when i was packing my bookout bag, the yellow pouch, is left with only the yellow pouch.

on my way back home, taking the MRT, walking the same way back home, its no longer the same and it feels all so lonely.

i couldnt control myself but to think of it.

whenever im doing nothing. my mind will just go blank and the thoughts of it just keep surfacing out.


ytd when i was doing my last shift of duty, all my mine was abt it.

i was walking like a zombie, at even one time, i thought that i was just having a nightmare and i told myself to wake up. i really thought tat i was dreaming at that time and tried to wake myself up from this torture.

but, this time round, its not a nightmare that i can wake up from and be glad that it was just a bad dream and i can just wake up from it and nothing has changed in my actual life.

deep inside i curse whoever is the person who did that. i fucking curse him that he shld be knocked down by a car.

for now, i just feel like going for a night run or cycle to sweat myself out and get some peace within myself.


.........................................................................................................


P/S : thanks to yy for telling me his stories, that made me feel better. jia le for the sms. zs for forsaking his rest during duty(tat includes jiale too). sr for his talking sessions.